Just needed to write my feelings

I never knew my dad. He left when I was baby and from what I’ve been told, he didn’t make a huge effort to stick around. He is completely out of my life now and I will never get to meet him but I’ve always thought “what if?” what if I randomly showed up at his door step? What if I wrote him a letter? I know his information. Thats what happens when you’re curious and nobody tells you anything about him. So this is what the letter would be like.

Dear Dad, 

Or should I call you Dennis? The position of Dad has been long taken. When I was 10 my mom found someone who made her happy. I know this is something you couldn’t do. Someone she could really trust. I put faith in this man. I’ve always called him Dad because he came into my life and provided for me when I needed a dad the most. I am 19 years old now and officially a sophomore in college. I have blonde hair. Nobody really knows where it came from because apparently you don’t have blonde hair. I have a boyfriend. He’s really sweet and he adores me. They say you marry a guy just like your dad. I hope this isn’t true because I don’t think I could live through another person flaking on me. It was tough growing up and explaining my situation to other kids. They’d ask me about my dad and I’d explain to them that I didn’t know anything really. They always felt sympathetic for me. At first I did too but then I realized feeling sympathetic won’t fix anything. You were never coming back. I know you’re married. I hope you’re sweet to your wife. I know whatever you did upset my mom and I don’t wish that upon other people. She had trust issues for a while and I believe in some ways she’s still living with the impact. I know you have other children too. It’s neat knowing I have other siblings. It’s just a shame I’ll never meet them. I just wanted you to know that although I do have resentment for you I also appreciate you for helping create me. I’m content with my life and my mother says that one the best things she got from you was me. On top of that, I’m really attractive. Just kidding, who am I to judge? I hope your life is well. I just wanted to say something to you. I felt like nothing wasn’t enough.



3:28 am  •  28 May 2014  •  1 note